Ciara Myst poured her heart into her talent performance, but she still ended up as the latest queen to sashay away from RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 18. However, she’s immensely proud of what she left on the stage.

Myst talked with Blavity’ s Shadow and Act in an exit interview about her performance, which was a meditation on how mental health issues can make us feel confused, alone, and scared as we grow into someone new and more loving toward ourselves.

“So this idea of metamorphosis or transformation or sort of turning yourself inside out is not something that is new to my art,” she said, explaining that she used it as part of a healing process.

“I created an art piece called Metamorphosis in 2017 that was then photographed and hung on display in the mayor’s office in Atlanta during 2019,” she said. “You see the red monarch, you see the skeleton. It’s a way that I, as Ryan, the person out of drag, was able to sort of process my own depression journey and this need for reinvention and rebirth. To find that light and strength within myself to pull myself through the darkness like a caterpillar being reborn as a butterfly.”

“That story is one that I’ve continued to tell in a variety of ways through my life as an artist, and I knew, if given the opportunity to go to Drag Race, that I wanted to prepare something that was a tribute to that story for myself and for the other people in my life who have been stuck in the nothingness and the liquefication of a cocoon and depression,” she added. “It can feel like you’re sort of drowning in the darkness inside of that period of transformation and change. And when I lost my drag sister [Tristyn St. Clair], it was sort of an affirmation that that story needed to be shared. There was no other talent in my mind at that point that I would bring [it] to Drag Race because it was not only my story, it was not only the story of people that I love, but it was a story that too many people in this country and in this world relate to, queer or not.”

St. Clair died in 2024, and Myst discussed how so many people are lost because of the stigma around mental health.

“We lose too many people too young because we don’t talk about it, or they feel alone,” she said. “And this presentation was so much bigger than just a singular challenge on Drag Race. And I’m so affirmed seeing the response to that online and from the fans and from the messages I’ve received of people who feel seen, who feel supported, who feel less alone because they saw this presented on the stage.”

“I think there’s a beautiful quote [that] goes something to the effect of ‘Art is meant to disturb the comforted and comfort the disturbed,’ and I think that people and how I approach drag at different times relates to that,” she continued. “I can offer the silly, sexy, stupid, fun kind of tribute to Elvira as my drag act. But there’s also a part of me that recognizes that there are important messages that need to be shared, and art is an opportunity for us to process that together. This was one of those times.”

Lip syncing with confidence and peace

Whether it was strategy or some queens simply not gelling with the vibe of Myst’s performance, Myst found herself in the bottom two with Myki Meeks. Myst said that since she performed during the first week, she had plenty of time to acquaint herself with the possibility of lip-syncing for her life.

“That’s a double-edged sword,” she said. “There’s a part of that information that allows you to prepare and focus, and I think you see me come into the next challenge with a sense of, maybe, mischievousness or confidence because I’ve been able to process that. But at the same time, there’s also the devil in your ear, saying, ‘Well, it might be your time.’ And you have a little bit longer to think about that than other people. Other people sort of react in the moment and fight for their life.”

“So having both sides of that coin flipping around in my brain that entire day and heading into that lip sync, I think, allowed me to feel prepared and confident going into that process, but also feeling a sense of resolve or inner peace of however this happens, I’ve already played that out in my mind before this music has even started,” she continued. “I feel good about either outcome. My only job right now is to turn the party and put on a good show so that way RuPaul can make the decision to keep me or I can leave with my head held high knowing I gagged these girls yet another time and surprised them by giving them a performance that they wouldn’t have expected from the… spooky diva who walked in.”

Post-show plans and connecting with fans

Myst said that post-Drag Race life is all about connecting with fans.

“My time was short on television, so I am looking forward to being in everybody’s hometowns and connecting with you all there. … I think you can expect to see Ciara Myst on the red carpets of some upcoming horror movie premieres, coming to a city near you,” she said, adding that they’re also planning on building their online community through YouTube and social media.

“If you haven’t seen the full video of my talent performance or any of my makeup recreations or how I made my runways, all of that is happening over on my YouTube channel so we can continue to see each other every week,” she said.

RuPaul’s Drag Race airs Fridays at 8 p.m. on MTV.

If you or someone you know needs mental health support, please call the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.

Ciara Myst

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